Poetic License

If you don’t take care of yourself, who else will?

This month was full of tough moments, new memories, and exciting times. My son moved away. That was tough. Two friends treated me to lunch on separate weekends. Those are good memories. I am refinancing my house, which makes it easier for me to stay in it, and that’s not tough! I had a local landscaper come out to do an overhaul of the yard where it needed it. He was worth every penny.

Suddenly, I’m falling in love with my home all over again.

It feels really good to know that this is mine, that it is through my own hard work that I have this beautiful roof over my head, that I have food on the table, that I have a car that gets me where I need to go, and that I am okay. My generation was brought up by the children of the Depression, and we girls were taught that homemaking was a primary duty. The home economics classes (required) bored me to tears, as did the secretarial courses. If I had had to be a secretary, I would have failed miserably. If I’d had to be a housewife, I would have failed miserably at that, too. It just wasn’t something that came naturally to me. I just wasn’t meant to be traditional.

I never saw myself becoming a wife and mother, and yet I dreamed that some prince would come. (I wasn’t daring to think of princesses!) Given what my childhood was like, it’s no wonder that I wanted to be swept off my feet and taken away. Even in today’s world, many girls look for a man to be their answer (which makes them extremely vulnerable to online predators). Are those of the female persuasion alone in wanting to be cared for? I don’t think so. Secretly or not, everyone wants someone to help them through life, to comfort them when they’re sick, to have their back, to help them make decisions, and to protect them if they need protecting. That’s the human condition. It’s not easy thinking I might never have that again, but I also know that life can be full of surprises. Meanwhile, there is this glorious roof over my head, and this peaceful backyard, and pets at my side. Good neighbors, too. What more could I ask for?

I do miss curling up with someone on a cold or stormy night. Adele does her best but she is only a little doggo.

Living alone is changing me. As much as I love my son and appreciate everything he did for me, I am enjoying doing some things for myself around the house. He would never have let me carry the laundry up the stairs, but he’s not here to stop me now! If I cooked, he would clean up, or vice versa, but these days both are on me. Tonight’s dinner was angel hair pasta with a hearty sauce. I set aside leftovers for tomorrow night, and three more meals went into the freezer. Slowly, I’m getting the hang of feeding myself. Cooking for one is.a real challenge, but with enough planning, I can have satisfying meals ready in a few minutes. I prefer to make the vegetables on the day I’ll eat them, but the largest portion of the cooking will be as simple as using the microwave.

I’m looking forward to the day when I’ll be able to mow my own yard and pull the pesky weeds. Everything I push myself to do now will pay off later, but pulling the starter cord on the mower is still beyond me.

Today was mostly spent on schoolwork (why did I decide to take this certificate program again??), but I also watched some of the Olympics and a documentary about Greg Louganis (which had a very happy ending). I spent a little time on the deck with Adele, at least until the mosquitos descended.

Tomorrow is more schoolwork and a little shopping.

Next week I’ll be searching for some furniture for the guest room. That way, whenever Sean decides to come for a visit, there will be a comfortable bed, a nightstand and lamp, and a small dresser. If anyone comes to visit, the room will be ready. I’m looking forward to setting it up!

Briefly, I thought of taking on a roommate. There was a local woman looking for a room and bath, but the more I thought about it, the more I wanted to keep the space open for Sean or my sister and brother-in-law, or whomever might want to come see me. I haven’t had a guest room in a while, and I think it will be nice. So I turned her down, and she got mad. She actually blocked me on social media, though I thought I handled it all tactfully. It’s true that I wanted to keep the space for guests after all, but her response was very telling. I didn’t need the money badly enough to give up my privacy, either. There’s something to be said for being able to run around in the raw if you want to in your own home. Right?

I hope you’re having a lovely weekend and that you’re taking care of you!

Namaste, Jude