Decisions, decisions.

Why is it so hard to make choices in life? Do you think it’s because we have so many options? Car colors, homes, even cities. Where do we want to be? What do we want our surroundings to look like? How many shades of aqua do we want to layer in a room? I had pizza for the last two nights (makes great leftovers!) but I could still go for some more pizza. I won’t, because I would pay the price in so many ways. But I do have rather simple tastes. I’m not a foodie, though I have been experimenting with some new recipes since the beginning of the year.

As we often do, my sister and I chatted about homes and prices and best places to live. It’s a seller’s market, so I could get a pretty penny for my house right now. The plan has been to pick up and move later this year when Sean moves. But all I have to do is go out on my deck or watch Adele run around the yard, and I get those pangs of wanting to stay here. Is it more house than I need? For sure. It is a 4 BR/2.5 BA house in a tree-lined neighborhood. It requires work. I get it power-washed and gutters cleaned at least once a year, have a big lawn to mow, and have to hire someone to fix things around here if something breaks. But it’s mine. I don’t rent from anyone, and I don’t have to answer to anyone. There is more I can do around here when I’ve got my strength back.

Maybe it would be easier on me financially if I got a roommate. My son has been paying me rent and doing lots of things for me around here. Having a roommate would at least replace what he has given me. But sometimes I think I just want to be here by myself. You trade your privacy for rent when you have roommates. Sure, If I sold the place, I could get something smaller. But I’ve been looking at rents and at costs to buy. Any way I slice it, I’ll be paying more for less. (Yes, I could pay off a few things on the way, but maybe if I just tighten my belt I could do that anyway.)

I’ve gotten to a point in life where I can’t afford to keep losing money on moves, because that’s exactly what keeps happening. If I stayed put, I could continue to build equity that I could someday roll into an RV or a little place in a retirement community. Now, my son will be very disappointed if I don’t move to the Charlotte area with him. I think we both want to keep an eye on each other. It’s been a rough 12 years since his sister died. But in a way, I can’t wait to have my place to myself again. Like I said, lack of privacy and all. I love my kid, but he’s a grown man and we both need our space.

So, decisions decisions. What to do? I’m just thinking aloud today because I’m feeling lonesome for a house I haven’t even left.

Peace, Jude

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